Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
