Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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