I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
