She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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