Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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