Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
