Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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