I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
