What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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