I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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