let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
