ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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