you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize