i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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