i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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