are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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