dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I looked at my own cervix.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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