if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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