Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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