wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
