Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
