I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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