I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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