He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
