I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
