I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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