On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize