just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
