I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
