I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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