There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
