After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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