We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
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