Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
