Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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