thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Randomize
