I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
