I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
