i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
