i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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