help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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