He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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