My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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