i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We got so high we made milksteak
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
