Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
