dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
