walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
