His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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