saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
splinters make it hard to masturbate
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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