Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
