Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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