Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
