So drunk its hurt
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
