Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Randomize
