If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
