please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
