C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
