but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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