Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
